Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A whole new level...

First of all, please let me apologize for my absence. I just made a huge move accross the country and have had my hands a bit full. The good news is, how much crap has happened in the meantime to make fun of.

So this post I'm dedicating to Playboy and their innovative new marketing ploy - tits in 3-D. That's right, as of May 11 you can now see huge centerfold boobs floating in the air in front of you. The magazine comes prepackaged with a set of those cheesy red and blue paper glasses to make all of your masturbatory dreams come true.

I'm just picturing this scenario - some loser, eating Cheetos, sporting orange genetalia and a pair of 3D glasses, in a beanbag, with a copy of Playboy. Yikes.

Ick even.

Like porn isn't seedy enough, Playboy feels the need to up the ante with floating nipples. I'm just picturing beanbag guy grabbing at the air like someone who just had a flash go off in his face.

I mean I get it - I understand porn has it's uses. But this seems a bit much - it's like marajiuana, the nefarious "gateway drug". What's next?! It's madness I tell you - madness!

So ladies, if you see those glasses at your man's house, be warned... And check the pantry for Cheetos.