Friday, March 2, 2012

Paid to get Laid

So apparently on Limbaugh’s planet, any woman who takes birth control is a slut. Wanting the government to mandate insurance companies to pay for contraceptives equates to wanting the government to pay us to have sex. Therefore, we are prostitutes, getting paid to get laid.

I mean that makes total sense if you’ve just popped 15 oxy’s and watched a Brady Bunch marathon. And of course are a teabagger.

As absolutely outrageous as that is, it gets better. Oh yes, much better:

“So Miss Fluke, and the rest of you Feminazis, here’s the deal,” Limbaugh said on his radio show Thursday. “If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something for it. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch.”

Really?! “…we want something for it. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch.” That’s the deal? And exactly what parties agreed to said “deal”? This sounds much like something Huggy Bear (look it up, young 'uns), might say to his, um, employees. So is Rush Limbaugh now America’s top pimp?

And note how he repeatedly uses the words “we want”. What the hell is this “we” shit? So my brothers, was there a covert male-only town hall where you all agreed to stand by “The Deal”? Really guys?

What’s really creepy, absolutely abhorrent and nauseating, is the thought of Rush Limbaugh watching porn. And I, being part of the female demographic that takes or has taken birth control, well I think where you see where I’m going with this. It’s so unspeakable – I can’t even put down the words. All I can say is – ew.

The whole question of whether or not insurance companies should pay for contraceptives is an absurdity. If they will pay for Viagra (a complete oxymoron) and vasectomies, why the hell shouldn’t we get the same protection? Why is it insurance companies will pay for men to enhance their ability to impregnate women, but won’t let women protect ourselves from getting pregnant?

So thank you Mr. Limbaugh, for being the self-appointed face of the Republican party. Keep up the good work, jackass.

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