Wednesday, September 24, 2008

How to Raise an Idiot

Last night on Leno, we were introduced to the 3 dumbest people in America. That’s what I’d like to think of course, but I’m pretty sure that’s just wishful thinking. He started the show with “JayWalking Allstars” - asking some basic questions to the “man on the street”. These are the pearls of wisdom that got these people this dubious title:

Question to Larissa: “Who are Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac?”
Answer: “I don’t know. Are they dancers?”

Question to Harmik: “Who is the Vice President?”
Answer: “Uh, I know this – it’s not Dan Quayle – no it’s that other person”

Question - “Who is Nancy Pelosi, why is she famous? She’s the first woman to do something.”
Jannia: “She’s the first woman to do something? Oh. That blows a couple of things I thought about. I think there was a girl that does porn, but she’s not the first.”

So these three political glitterati were brought on for a face-off. Here is a sampling of how that went:

Question – shown a picture of Mahatma Ghandi: Harmik, who is this?
Harmik - That guy who played Mahatma Ghandi – Ben Kingsley

Question - Who succeeded Ronald Regan as President
Larissa - Succeeded meaning…? Came after him? OK. I only know a certain amount of presidents, you know. Just the important ones – I can’t even names the ones that I don’t know.

Question – Where is Red Square?
Jannia – Are we thinking board games here? Um, search me.

Question – I’ll give you two names, who are they? Orville and Wilbur.
Larissa – Redenbacher! Oh no – the plane guys.

Question – Where would you go to find the Space Needle?
Jannia – If it’s the space needle, wouldn’t be in space? (is told it’s on the ground) Oh, oh, Area 51!

Question – What does Condaleeza Rice Do?
Harmik – She tells the president what to do
Jannia – The other woman
Larissa – They brought her up in school one time. She did something wrong. Didn’t she?

Question (shown a picture of John Edwards): Who is this?
Harmik – Yeah he’s an actor – that guy from Twister. Bill Pullman.

It boggles my mind that people like this walk around every day, and somehow manage not to step in front of a bus. To be fair, all 3 of these future politicos are in their early 20’s (not to mention acting students), but come on! How can you not know who the Vice President is!

Well, let’s hope those bus drivers start taking aim – natural selection, baby.

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