Evil is Not Dead, It's Living in Hollywood

Leader of the Pack - HGTV

The premise for this animal cruelty show starts with a family looking for the perfect dog. So eight dogs are chosen to compete begin a series of challenges to test their skills and compatibility with the Reckseit family. Every week, a dog is voted off.

So let’s bring in 8 dogs from the pound that have already been rejected , let the children bond with them, and then send them packing. The dogs must prove themselves worthy through a series of “challenges”, including a fashion show, how well they learn tricks, and best of all a consultation with fucking pet psychic. Honestly I can think of a crueler premise for a reality show.

Who the hell came up with this? Michael Vick?

Hitched or Ditched - CW

This premise of this show just warms the heart. "Hitched or Ditched," essentially goads happy couples into breaking up. Each week, it finds a couple who have yet to tie the knot and offers to make them a dream wedding in a week. There's a catch, of course. At the ceremony, in front of friends and family and strangers with cameras, each will have to make a final declaration: I do or I don't.

All of us have probably struggled with the question of “shit or get off the pot”, but to encourage real brides and grooms to leave their partners at the altar is just evil. If the outcome is bad (and it appears this series isn't committed to happy endings), one party walks away crushed and exposed on national TV.

This is so wrong on so many levels. Someone over at CW apparently has some deep-rooted resentments to work through…

More to Love - Fox

This one has me concerned. Fox has announced More to Love, a new reality dating series that stars a plus-size bachelor as he attempts to woo several plus-size bachelorettes.

Per the show‘s producer Mike Fleiss, "This is a dating show that sends the right message about embracing and loving yourself no matter your shape or size, "When you are comfortable with your own body, you can really allow yourself to be open to the possibility of finding the right person to love."

I would love to believe that Mr. Fleiss is sincere. However he is a reality show producer on Fox - I mean come on. My fear is that this will turn into “let’s watch the fat people roll around in the sack - eeeeeew!” I guess time will tell. I will be watching these trailers closely - any hint of poking fun or sensationalizing obesity I’m so on the phone.

Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood

Oh joy! Oxygen is picking up a second season of this examination of excess and undeserved idolatry as we follow the couple as they balance their family life with the “pressures” of being super-rich and providing unrealistic expectations for teenage girls around the country. Awwwww - it must be so hard for them. Millions of mindless adoring fans, ridiculous salaries for doing absolutely nothing...

Poor Tori and Dean. Give me a fucking break.

I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Oughta’ Here! - NBC
I started to write about this show for this post, but quickly realized there is waaaay too much to make fun of. More to come on this one…