Eight Levels of Hell

Look up “media whore” in the dictionary, and there you will find a picture of Ms. Nadya Suleman. Yes, the infamous Octomom. I really tried to stay away from this one in order not to perpetuate the ridiculousness of Octomom-o-Mania, but the headline I saw today just pushed me over the edge.

Ms. Suleman is seeking to trademark her media nickname, "Octomom,". On Friday, Suleman, 33, filed two applications with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office to officially - and exclusively - own the moniker. She wants to use the nickname on a line of disposable diapers, dresses, pants, shirts and textile diapers.

What I think she’s missing here is the connotation that her nickname has come to represent. “Octomom” = “Crazy-Ass Bitch”. I mean who would want “Crazy-Ass Bitch” embroidered on little Ashley’s onesies?

And if you think that’s a ridiculous, check out this shit - She also wants to use it for a TV variety show. And apparently she is close to signing a TV reality show deal. Whatever station picks this up will be not only blocked from my TV, but will also be subject to ongoing harassment through this blog (that’ll scare ‘em!). I got $50 bucks on CMT.

I have so many issues with this woman I don’t even know where to start. Inadequately caring for the children she has, even thinking it’s a good idea to have another baby with no job or a home of her own, getting in-vitro with an absurd amount of embryos, having eight babies in addition to the 6 she already can’t take care of, giving some internet rag free-run of her house and children, firing the voluntary health-care workers given to her, and now a clothing line and a reality TV series to exploit the entire clusterfuck.

I really, really wish she would just go away. If I see her on the Today show again I’m driving to NY and personally bitch-slap Matt Lauer.