Sanitized for your protection

The last 2 articles I’ve written on this have well, bashed the Chinese for their intolerant policies regarding “foreigners” in their country. So I thought I’d talk about some of the things China is doing to make your stay as comfortable as possible.

With an eye towards the aesthetic, Beijing is rounding up all petitioners (beggars), the homeless, and migrant workers. These “less desirables” are being offered (forcibly) free transportation to anywhere other than Beijing. The just don’t look good on camera.

Chinese officials have also provided its citizens a list of “Do’s and Don’ts” when around company – here’s just a few:
- DO throw your garbage in an actual garbage can
- DON’T urinate in public
- DO give directions to the nearest restaurant if asked
- DON’T give directions to the nearest restaurant serving dog

Some other etiquette tips China offers as good advice include: "Don't ask about income or expenses, don't ask about age, don't ask about love life or marriage, don't ask about health, don't ask about someone's home or address, don't ask about personal experience, don't ask about religious beliefs or political views, don't ask what someone does for a living". The government has campaigned against public urination, smoking, spitting, queue-jumping, littering and even speaking loudly in public. Apparently the government trusts it's own citizens to behave less than it does the tourists.

Alarming translations abound in Chinese restaurants are being given a linguistic makeover. The traditionally named "husband and wife's lung slice" appetizer which is being replaced by the more appealing "beef and ox tripe in chili sauce," which sounds just as yummy! And for the first time in Beijing: public toilets will have toilet paper and eateries have health and sanitation standards. Talk about pulling out all the stops!

Olympic volunteers have also been briefed on how to handle disabled athletes. This is an excerpt from the original handbook, which has since been revised. I can't imagine why:

"[Disabled people] show no differences in sensation, reaction, memorization and thinking mechanism from other people, but they might have unusual personalities because of disfigurement and disability. For example, some physically disabled are isolated, unsocial, and introspective; they usually do not volunteer to contact people," and "They can be stubborn and controlling; they may be sensitive and struggle with trust issues. Sometimes they are overly protective of themselves, especially when they are called crippled or paralysed." Those cripples are so over-sensitive! Can you feel the love here?

I really, really hope these Olympics are the best ever. I just question why a country with such abhorrent human rights policies would be allowed to host an international event designed to celebrate diversity, not crush it out with an iron fist. Personally, I really don't feel like they deserved the honor, due to their past and present behavior.

My hope is to hear Richard Gere scream out "Free Tibet!" in a quiet moment of the Opening Ceremony. Just to see what happens - just for shits and giggles.