Wednesday, April 30, 2008

American Idol Recap, 4/30

Let me start by saying Paula has completely lost her mind. She actually started critiquing a performance that never happened. Maybe she saw it on the mothership.

Tween favorite Jason Castro sang “Forever in Blue Jeans” and “September Morn”. Sadly, he didn't do the songs an iota of justice. It’s starting to feel like he is singing the exact same song every week with the words changed up. Yawn. Next up, David Cook sang “I’m Alive” and “All I Really Need is You”. “I’m Alive” was certainly not the best. “All I Really Need is You” was much better, but I didn't know that song so it wasn’t as fun. Mr. Cook really needs to consult with me on his song choices. If I don’t enjoy it, how could anyone else?

And there’s my girlfriend Brooke. What a debacle. Her first song was “I’m a Believer”. It was horrible - by far the worst of the night. Her second was “I Am, I Said” – a little better, but not a show-stopper. And what was she wearing?! There were so many ruffles on that blouse I’m surprised she was able to play that guitar. And those silver pants – my God! Who let her out on stage like that?

Another tween favorite, David Archuleta sang “Sweet Caroline” and “America”. David can sing anything – except Neil Diamond. Technically he’s awesome, but the “soul” factor that Neil Diamond is known for just wasn’t there. If he starts smoking two packs a day he should be perfect by the time he hits 21. Syesha Mercado sang “Hello Again” and “Thank the Lord for the Nighttime”. I thought “Hello” was awesome. “Thank the Lord”, well, let’s just thank the Lord she sang an abbreviated version. No bueno. Overall I was kind of disappointed. Neil is the man, and it seemed like all the contestants were thinking “Fine, I’ll sing the old guy’s songs if I have to…” Step it up people!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

What you talkin 'bout judge?

Much to my dismay, Gary Coleman and Shannon Price are getting divorced. I know, I know, I'm sure you all have been following this unfolding saga with baited breath, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. The couple's shredded nuptials will be brought before Judge Lynn Toler on Fox's "Divorce Court". At least they are using the best of what America's legal system has to offer.

I can't think of anything more ridiculous. It's over Gary. No one cares. Yah, sure you were cute in the late 70's with the ever-endearing "what you talkin 'bout Wills", but those days are gone. This shameless attempt to get some kind of media attention is downright pitiful - one might even call it depressing. But on to the dirt.

Here's a quote from his soon-to-be ex-wife, Shannon Price: "If he doesn't get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old does," Price says, according to a transcript of the show obtained by The Associated Press. "He like stomps the floor and yells, 'Meehhhh,' and starts throwing stuff around. He bashes his head in the wall, too." There are also allegations that he physically abused her - I find this baffling. I mean, look at this picture - it seems like one good kick would do the job.

So another fairy tale romance has come to an unseemly end. Word to the wise - If you're thinking to yourselves "oooh, he's back on the market", watch your ankles girls!

Friday, April 25, 2008

"The Pillars of the Earth" by Ken Follett

Quite possibly my new favorite book. The storyline and characters are extremely well-developed, with heartbreaking lows and the highest of highs. He also does an excellent job of bringing you into life in the 12th century, a very brutal time in Europe. Follett has woven in murder, mysteries, and humanity at its best and worst. You also see in sharp contrast the relationships between common people, nobility and the all-powerful church.

I loved the complexity of this book, and all of its intertwining storylines. But you always know who is who, their individual histories and relationships with other characters. It’s not like reading Tolkien, which forces you to go back over and over again to find out who the hell he’s talking about. It is also part of Oprah's Book Club, but please don't hold that against it.

Here’s a synopsis plagiarized from

The Pillars of the Earth tells the story of Philip, prior of Kingsbridge, a devout and resourceful monk driven to build the greatest Gothic cathedral the world has known...of Tom, the mason who becomes his architect — a man divided in his soul...of the beautiful, elusive, Lady Aliena, haunted by a secret shame...and of a struggle between good and evil that will turn church against state, and brother against brother. A spellbinding epic tale of ambition, anarchy, and absolute power set against the sprawling medieval canvas of twelfth-century England, this is Ken Follet's historical masterpiece.

Survivor – Giving men a bad name

All I can say is wow – are big boobs really that intoxicating? Of course I am speaking of another male – Jason this week – not playing the coveted hidden immunity idol. He was so suckered in by the women into believing he was safe, he was completely blindsided when sent packing wondering what the hell happened. That’s three men on this season who have made the same mistake.

Personally, I’m baffled. But I must say that it was good TV. If you are stupid enough to make the same mistake 2 others have already made, one right under your nose, you deserve to be bitch-slapped for being stupid. What a tool.

Meanwhile, what is up with these women? Watching Natalie in her interview brought to mind the antics Charles Montgomery Burns, the evil overlord of the The Simpsons. Right down to the creepy twitching of the fingers. Natalie and Parvarti are definitely NOT winning any votes. Quite frankly they’re starting to creep me out. The only one who has not completely gone over to the dark side is Amanda – I think she could take this whole thing.

Sadly however, I don’t think James will be around much longer, so I won’t be able to ogle his fine, fine male physique. Very unfortunate.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Links? Work?

I realize that my Cool Topics currently go nowhere. This is due to my current ineptitude at coding. However, these links will be updated soon, so please check back.

American Idol Recap

Can someone explain to me why Brooke White is still on the show? Her performance last night was abysmal, and I swear she's making her outfits from furniture upholstery or curtains. Maybe I should start calling her Scarlet O'Hara. Jason Castro butchered "Memory" - what is going on? With these two awful performances, I'm shocked and awed that Carly was sent home - she did great! I'm pretty sure we have the "tweens" to blame. I'd like to ask every parent with girls between the ages of 6 - 16 to take away their cell phones every Tuesday so this kind of farce won't be allowed to happen again.

Besides, I had picked Brooke White to be voted out in my American Idol bracket, and she has completely screwed my standings. I have a reputation to uphold, Miss Scarlet!! And come on, look at this pic! It looks like those cheesy school photos from the eighties, where you had a clean smiling face on the front, and the same in the background kid looking dreamily towards their next Mad Libs session. She's killin' me here!